Movie Moment Mode
by Your Silver Lining
Summary: I'm sure Mello is out there to kill me. I think there is a limit as to how many times God allows a man hard-on and I'm way past that. God is pissed off at me and it's all Mello's fault. THANKS A LOT MELLO! I'M GOING TO HELL BECAUSE OF MY BONER!


_**Movie Moment Mode**_

**Genre: **Romance/Humor

**Pairing: **Matt X Mello

**Rating: **T for swearing, shounen ai, suggestive themes, nudity

**Warnings: **Fluff, OOC, major crack, some Harry Potter references

**Summary: **Mello hates spiders and Matt has ... erm ... moments.

**FTOYWGAD:** This has been in my head for quite a while and I needed to get it out. Just read it and tell me what you think. ^^

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_(Mello and Matt's Bedroom)_

I was sleeping peacefully for the first time in quite a while. You would think that when I heard the shrill scream melting my brain at two 'o' clock in the morning, I would be on full alert and ready for the unexpected. But no. I fell flat on my ass off the bed, clad only in my Hello Kitty boxers, sheets strewn everywhere. Who said I was clumsy?

Dazed, I looked up and found the source of my untimely alarm clock. Mello.

This wasn't all that uncommon, you see. I mean, I'm used to waking up to Mello all the time. Usually, he's sleep-screaming about some deranged maniac on a criminal-killing spree but occasionally I'd have, ya know, _those_ dreams and go into the bathroom for a good wank. Needless to say, Mello was usually my subject for _those_ dreams so in the end, it's still his fault. I swear, I'm becoming L.

Don't give me that look, I know you have had _those _kind of feelings about your best friend, when every time you see him bend over to get the news paper, you just want to sprint over there and fu–

Shut up.

I've been having these dreams for a few months now and I'm sure Mello is out there to kill me. I think there is a limit as to how many times God allows a man hard-on and I'm way past that. God is pissed off at me and it's all Mello's fault. THANKS A LOT MELLO! I'M GOING TO HELL BECAUSE OF MY BONER!

Ahem. Where was I? Yeah, I'm on my ass, staring at Mello. Who happens to be naked. Dammit, this is worse than his whorish leather/bondage outfits! His hair was messy, as if he had just been freshly fuc–

"OHMIGOD, MATT! GETITGETITGETITOUTOFMYFUCKINGHOUSE!" Mello waved his arms wildly, one if his fingers pointing at the offending arachnid in the opposing corner.

The fact that he was naked alone should have distracted me but for some reason, I pay attention to what he was actually doing.

"What's wrong, Mels?"

He then turned to look at me like I sprouted testicles out of my nose and his face took on a look of hysteria. Quite frankly, I was scared for my life. "Matt, get that monstrosity out of my bedroom."

"I sleep here too, you know."

"This isn't the time, Matt!" Mello screeched again. Honestly, if he put his mind to it, he could probably break the sound barrier with that voice of his.

"Okay, okay," I say getting up and walking over to where this 'monstrosity' was. "Don't get your bondage, granny panties in a bunch."

"What did you say?!"

I chuckle at this sensitivity. Nonetheless, I crouch over the small arachnid. I never understood how Mels would be afraid of something like this. I mean, it was so small! I cup my hands over it and let it scuttle over my palm. It panics but I hold very still, letting it know that I mean no harm. All of a sudden I feel like I'm in a movie. Ya know, when I have those revelations about how important and short life is by looking at this spider. I stare into it's eight, disgusting eyes but my movie self thinks that those eyes are magical and fantastic. Now, all of a sudden, I'm having this out of body experience and the spiders talks to me.

It says, "Matty-Boy, life is too short. You must follow your heart."

"But I don't _know _what my heart wants!" I say to the spider in my hands. I should probably worry about how ridiculous I look to Mello right now, but the only thing I can think about is what my heart wants. I could hear a faint "What the fuck?" in the background.

"Listen, Matty-Boy. You never know what life is going to throw at you next. You have to life everyday as if it were your last. Tell that boy what you feel, son. Tell him!"

"I SHALL!" I swear, I could feel Mello's OMG-he'-totally-lost-it-look boring into my back.

"By the power invested in me, Lord Aragog, I shall wish you best of luck."

Then I'm snapped back into reality. I finally understand the full extent of what just happened right now. This is what I get for watching Harry Potter all night last night. I turn to look at Mello, only to find him look at me like I've not only sprouted balls from my nose, but my ears and eyes too. Lovely, I know.

"What the hell are you doing?" He screams/asks.

"Nothing," I murmur and get ready to set Lord Aragog free. Then an idea creeps into my brain and I look at the spider again. I think it gave a knowing glance. What is a knowing glance anyway? Is it that look someone gives you to let you know that they know you know they know you masturbate with a dildo? Or is it the one when the person knows what you did last summer? Whatever. Lord Aragod thinks I masturbate with a dildo.

Anyway, I pretend to let the spider go out the window. Then I walk over to our bed with my hands behind my back. I'll let you in on a secret – I didn't really let Lord Aragog go. I go up really close to Mello, so much that my face is only a few inches apart from his. I pretend to not hear how his breath hitches as to not get my hopes up. Then out of no where I whip out my palm and sitting there is a very comfortable looking Lord Aragog. The reaction I got wasn't the one I was expecting.

Obviously Mello first shrieks and then he brings his fist back. _This_, I was expecting. I kinda figured he'd get physical (not _that_ kind mind you) and punch me or something. But instead of his fist connecting with my mouth, he trips over, what I think is a dildo (don't give me that look I tell you!) and falls on me. No, I don't pull him into my chest so that he can feel safe forever. No, he doesn't fold into me like I'm his Prince Charming. I mean, he literally falls on me. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I'm not skinny as wire but I'm not exactly an Adonis either. I consider myself to be more lean with enough muscles than those steroid-ridden Bowflex buffs. Mello on the other hand is unbelievably skinny. I really don't get it. How can someone eat so much chocolate and be that skinny. _Anyway_, he must have packed a lot of energy in that not-anymore-punch because when he tripped, he brought me down with him. The spider that was supposed to be in my palm isn't there anymore.

Instead, I think I've hit my head on something sharp and died and went to some sort nice Hell. ('Cuz there is no way I'm going to Heaven.) I am staring into the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen in my entire life. I feel like I really am in Heaven. (Although that may be due to my awareness that I have a naked Mello on top of me.) Aw, man, I really shouldn't have noticed that. I feel an arousal coming on.

Then those blue eyes shift away from me and land on something to my right. No! Blue, come back to me! Then Mels does something weird with his eyes, like if he stared/glared at the spot hard enough, it would dematerialize.

Suddenly, he takes that thing he trips over (yes, _that _thing) and squishes Lord Aragog with it.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

I completely disregard Mello's compromising positing and take the corpse of the spider tenderly in my hands. It twitches and I'm suddenly in my movie mode again.

It's pincer-mouth-thingy moves and it wheezes out, "Tell...choke...him...wheeze...your feelings...chokewheeze..." And then the body goes limp.

And like a good actor acting my agony over a loved one being dead, I scream "WHYYY – "

Someone in the distance, I think my transsexual, octogenarian neighbor screams, "Keep it down out there!" Then I snap back into reality, once more and feel like a total fucktard. Really, was I high last night?

"Matt, are you okay?" Mello pulls me up form the ground and the dead spider. He turns me around and gives me a front row seat to all his naked glory. Did I mention that my hard-on isn't gone yet? "What the fuck is wrong with you? I told you not to have that entire six pack of Red Bull last night with all that Harry Potter shit!"

I mumble something incoherent as Mello leads me back to bed.

"C'mon, we're going back to sleep."

He shoves me onto the bed but trips yet again on that goddamn dildo – dammit, I has never been a problem before – taking us both down. Again. Only this time, I we land on the bed, with me on top.

I decide not to let a spider come between this moment again and wrap my arms around Mello's waist. I know he's going to kill me for this, but maybe I could just put it into 'Actions Caused By Excessive Red Bull' category and I may just live. I nuzzle my head into his neck and breathe in his scent. His messy, just-molested-styled hair tickles my jaw. I'm living in Matty World right now. A world where I have no worries and plenty of Mello.

"Matt, what the hell are you doing?"

Then my world comes crashing down. Know how? A giant dildo monster destroyed all the major cities and the economy is unstable and the all the Mellos go mad and use nuclear bombs on each other and that's how my Matt World ended. Yeah.

But then I remember what Mello just asked me. Dammit, I'm have the Movie Moment Mode again. I decided to be all slick and gentle and kind.

"Loving you," I say. Which was true.

He then pushes me off. All I can think right then is _Ohmigod, my life is OVER!_

I close my eyes, waiting for the punch and yet again, I'm surprised. Instead of feeling a sharp sting in my jaw, I feel gentle, slightly hesitant lips on my own. My eyes widen to the size of saucers and see that Mello is kissing me. Right _now_ the only thing I can think of is _Ohmigod, Mello is kissing me._

I realize that I've been waiting centuries for this and Mello is kind a clumsy at this. I take control and push him back on the bed and ravish him and his naked body.

Mello pulls away and says the most beautiful words I've ever heard. It was like fucking poetry! "What took you so long?"

Then I pull him under the covers and ravish him further. I make a mental note to go to the drug store tomorrow and immediately purchase some lube. After our serious make out session, I see that Mello is incredibly tired and worn out so I let him sleep. For now. My boner still isn't gone. Maybe God finally took some pity on me and gave me Mello to take care of them.

I stare at the ceiling and can't believe all this happened. And over a spider! Just when I'm about to slilp into Movie Moment Mode again, I hear yet another shriek.

"MATT KILL THAT GODDAMED SPIDER RIGHT NOW!"

Confused, I get up and look at what he's pointing at again. I see Lord Aragog get up and shoot some slimy white stuff out of it's ass. The web thing hits the window pane (I make another mental note to get some Windex tomorrow). Lord Aragog gives me another knowing smile and I swear I heard him say, "Good job, Matty-Boy." And then he files out the window. I swear, he does. I turn back to Mello, wrap my arms around his waist and pull him back down again. I tell him not to worry like my Movie Moment Mode tells me to do. I think about all the dildo tripping, spider encounters, knowing glances, neck nuzzling, boners and Movie Moment Modes to come and smile, thinking life couldn't get better.

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_(Epilogue)_

Life got better. Mello and I just had sex. So yeah.

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**FTOYWGAD:** Aw, man this is such crap. Sorry for all the OOC – ness. Tell me if I made any mistakes and please review! ^^

~Silver


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